Me and yearly resolutions

A few minutes ago I’ve tweeted an honest truth. It’s about resolutions.

I’ve seen in my life wo- (man-) kind talking of writing down what they seek to do at given times: daily, weekly, monthly, annually etc, etc. It’s a good thing to do. It gives a semblance of organisation. I would love to do it if I was given a different kind of inside me.

However, I love the me I am so much that I don’t think I would have liked to be any different. I’m not conventionally organised. I’m shabby from the outside sometimes as come out of my dressing. I don’t like a tie from childhood. School system failed to tame me into loving it.

I was once religious and churchish. Even the church failed to fashion my fashioning. Since we all know how schools coerce young souls to dress alike to look smart I won’t bother you with details of what I found deplorable on that.

However, I will bother you with this churchish example. I came to university as an eager and powered ambassador of Christ (I still believe in Christ). So the denomination I went to then had multiple departments: Outreach and Ushering, Praise in Worship, Intercession, Hosting and Decor. I think that’s all.

Since I’ve less confidence in how I coordinate my voice with those of others, yet confident at oration, I opted for Outreach and Ushering department. They had told me it’s where people are mainly responsible for preaching and seeing that all is in order during our weekly church sessions and gospel outreaches to different places once during the semester and after the semester. I broke ties with the department when they demanded my personhood to wear formal and be uniformic on certain days of our services. This is how me can so much desire to be me. I chose being an ordinary believer away from the strict surveillance eye of group leaders.

Before I proceed let me clarify when I said I was once religious and churchish. Yes, I was once like that. I’ve ceased. I’m now striving to be spiritual. By that I labor so much to transcend denominationalism and religiosity and be human and a lover of wo (-man-) kind.

Back to what I tweeted. So me being me I have few occasions I write down what I desire so much and say this year I want this and that. Nope. I know what I want. I usually pray for what I want. I most of the times say what I want to friends and loved ones. Sometimes, my prayers are answered and wishes are fulfilled immediately. Sometimes (un) fulfillment happens at a later date (hour, day, week, month, year, decade).

It is this wonderful experience with life’s gracious happenings that made me have years with no resolutions in the past and will probably be the same this year. After I bizarrely believe my new year is somewhere between the day I was conceived or born. Unfortunately, I know not the day of my conception!

Have a (un) happy future if it’s what is in your path !