Wars in the mind

I have so many incoherent questions spinning spinning and spinning in my head. Feel like exploding. The one rolling the questions is exerting too much force for me to bear. I can’t bear it! I can’t bear it!

Pictures from yesterday’s National day of prayer: Credit-NewZimbabwe.com

A few hours ago the nation called Zimbabwe is claimed to have conducted a national prayer. Yes I’m still learning the meanings of country, state and nation beyond the surface meanings. I have doubts and questions surrounding grand events where these terms and their spirits are invoked. Bear with me by the reference to the word ‘claimed’. I am yet to know a person close to me who openly participated in this organised and publicized event. As a confession I even forgot to pray for Zimbabwe the whole of yesterday. Don’t report me.

So the day was termed the national day of prayer. The assumption here is the whole nation was in unison praying for whatever prayer items if I am to use the phrase we used to have at intercession sessions under the various groupings I associated with before the plague.

I am thinking usually after church we do gossip among selves about things we might have or haven’t gathered courage to pray for. Chief among the gossip topics are polutriks, economics and even religion itself. So the topics are normally based on the trending story from where we spend the other six days plus the remaining hours of the day we think is dedicated to the conversations with the Creator.

We talk of the ever rising cost of living versus the ever stagnant salary of those who have somewhere to hang around and keep their troubled bodies busy. The jobless like I was a few days ago would be requested to bring a CV by one concerned brethren. Some brethren will just ask you what you might be doing that moment. Most of us seem troubled even minutes after genuine and pretentious noises as we communicate with our Maker.

Reader I am prayerful and spiritual but I have doubts over some things. Like Thomas I believe will touch the fresh wounds of My Lord with my tattered bare hands. These are the doubts watering the tributaries of questions I am posing. From the statements above I think you are seeing the paradoxes or let me say relationship that is there between the few hours at church and the remaining time we spend in the thick of things. If you from Zimbabwe, I would equate the thick of things to the ‘battle-field’. We are at war which for me the starting point of it is the mind!

Anyway here are the questions:

1) Do you think after the prayer our papas or men and women of God gossiped about the hailstorm pouring over our heads on a day to day basis?

I know some have been talking of the incarcerated political activists who were denied bail while prayer warriors were leading alongside rulers the knocking at the doorstep of infinite mercy. I don’t want to demean the weight of this one matter but I want you reader to think of this one as well.

Think of millions of us trapped in the maximum prison of joblessness, poverty and hunger. They have been denied bail so many times. I hear these tales in the trucks we now use to commute from place to place; of man lacking the fire power to have pleasure with their wives because of their lack to provide and of tsaonas being bought to serve for the night. So do you think your prophet who was there present at the house of the state gossiped about you with our president?

Seems Interesting: And Me imagining things from these photos: Credit-NewZimbabwe.com

Were your denomination founder there for you or for him or her or their family? Church persons normally walk two two. We saw them on pictures!

Without your assumed answer to the first questions, do you think your Papa should only lay hands on you, speak on behalf of you to God without speaking on behalf of you to the president? How I wish to hear their conversations about you, because I know they will spin the way these questions should be addressed to wisdom. I am yearning for a time when secret talk in secret places about you is made public.

2) Is prayer enough to finding solutions to national or personal problems? In other words I am in no way doubting the magical powers of prayer. My life is testimony to the power of something powerful but unknown to my eyes ears and eyes. It’s power can only be seen through experience. What I am trying to think is the alignment of two forms of agency: the spiritual or supernatural and the human. Hear me even if I am not clear.

There emerges a new paradox. We hear and participate in the noises of elections. The assumption is we are choosing the brains to lead us. From my own perspective I think from the spiritual side angels have sleepless nights because of us. Think of the unemployment, inflation and stagnant wages I mentioned earlier, but no recorded case of a dead person. But think of the slow deaths happening to us in the midst of this survival. Think of the millions of young life being robbed of life’s pleasures and joys.

I am of the view that with an able and people-centric leadership be it from the spiritual or political side there can be serious conversations without fear or too much bias towards our own desires on what can we do with our resources, what can we do to hear from the youths and other vulnerable group to make sure they don’t have to fast unintentionally because of lack.

God will not create new resources on top what he has already given us. What is required now is a minimum dose of honest, beauty and concern for the human we are to mute the big ego, the pangu pangu (greedy) in us for a moment.

Some of the questions have been eroded by the keyboard. I’m sorry but I’m feeling relieved. I know you may be asking these in a better incoherent coherent way but I’m just happy to have found this outlet. Say I haven’t said something why not listen to the composed intellectual, thinker and fighter

From

The non-believer